Tonight was honestly the best night if my entire fucking life. It’s amazing how someone can go from being suicidal to realizing that the people in front of her just made you never want to leave. I had a second row VIP ticket and I GOT TO THE FRONT ROW UP AGAINST THE GATES and all the security were assholes but then they saw how happy I was and how much I was crying and they let me do what ever. During 5sos I GOT NOTICED BY ALL OF THEM but I stared right into Calum’s eyes and he was being all sexy and he just did a head bounce and then Luke was going crazy infront of us and I start jumping pointing at my boobs and he looks and does a shocked omg smirk and I died. And with Ash he saw my poster and it made him so happy. But MICHAEL OMG I WAS JUST STARING AT HIM A COMPLETE WREK AND I MADE EYE CONTACT WITH HIM LIKE NOT A JOKE AND I JUST KINDA FOLD DOWN IN A BALL IN SHOCK AND ALL THE GIRLS AROUND ME WERE LIKE LOOK AND HE WAS TRYING TO GET MY ATTENTION AND I JUST WAVED AND HE WAVED BACK SMILING AND OMG IT WAS FUCKING PERF. Then right before 1D came on I MET PAIL HIGGINS I FRICKIJG MET HIM I MET OUR PAUL I MET PAUL AND HUGED HIM OUR SELFIE IS ABOVE AND I GAVE HIM A BOOK I HAD FOR HARRY AND IT HAS A LETTER ON HOW MUCH HIM AND THE BOYS HAVE HELPED ME AND EVERYTHING AND PAUL PROMISED TO GIVE IT TO HIM AND NOT KIDDING HE WAS AN ANGEL LIKE THE SWEETEST PERSON EVER AND SO LETS GET TO 1D… Louis I can’t talk about because he looked at me so many times and wouldn’t wave to anyone but a 6 year old and fame got to him.. Zayn smiled at me… Liam winked at me and waved and omg we had so many moments just me and Liam and me and Zayn like through the show we connected a lot. And NIALL OMG SO FUCKING SEXY IM SO PROUD OF HIM AND HE JUST STANDS HERE LIKE WOW THE WHOLE TIME AND HE LOOKED AT ME AND WE ALL DIED. HARRY STYLES OMG YOU GOT ME ALL WET 3 TIMES WITH WATER AND THE GIRL NEXT TO ME CAUGHT YOUR SWEAT RAG AND SHE LET ME HOLD IT AND CRY INTO IT AS SEEN ABOVE AND LIAM THREW HIS SWEAT RAG IT TOUCHED MY HEAD AND fell and a stupid 8 year old got it. But after this is the best part once 1d went off I was crying and saying don’t leave me there gone and the security was like they are not gone calm now calm down and I said to one of them “I need to leave here with something can I get me a water bottle from stage” and he gets me it and I just cried into it for so long and I was skating and I think it was Harry’s and it had sips out of it and I didn’t open it and the spit is never to leave the bottle I win. I ACCOMPLISHED MY DREAM EVERYONE….. EVERY SINGLE MEMBER OF 1D AND 5SOS NOTICED ME AND I GOT REACTIONS OUT OF A LOT OF THEM.
Never lose hope and honestly I have preyed to god every single day because I wanted this so badly and it happened I got I FINALLY DIDNIT GUYS I DID IT. Don’t give up and to all of you struggling out there…. If you get what I got tonight every fear will go away because you will realize that you did it. And me and another girl next to me who feel the same way just held each other and nobody else got it but everyone was like sweetie are you ok!? And so were the guards and all I said was I have never been so happy. I fucking did it guys.
PLEASE REBLOG THIS EVERYONE BECAUSE I WANT ALL OF YOU WHO ARE STRUGGLING WITH ANY FORM OF SELF HARM TO COME TALK TO ME BECAUSE I WILL FUCKING TELL YOU THAT LEAVING THIS EARTH IS NOT A OPTION AFTER YOU JUST GOT WHAT I DID. PLEASE I WANT TO SHOW YOU ALL THAT YOU CAN DO IT AND THAT DREAMS REALLY COME TRUE THEY DO… And there’s never a reason to leave this worlds ever because when the people you love most wave back and see you everything becomes ok.